It’s a taboo topic. We live in a world where social media only shows the good side of our lives. Which makes it hard to imagine a long distance relationship reunion would be anything but fantastic. Connecting and merging your lives back together after a while apart is a time you’re grateful and excited for. It’s a time that you’ve looked forward to for probably months. You finally get to be together again and can get on with life, like a “normal” couple. But there’s also a reality to this transition that people rarely talk about.
The Hard Truth of a Relationship Reunion
Even though it’s hard being away from them, it can be equally as hard to find a balance once you’re reunited. Your daily routine and familiar living situation is flipped upside down, and that may come with some resentment. Depending on how long you’ve been apart, one or both people may have changed in some ways – you may be surprised at who they are since you last saw them. Furthermore, your mental health is not at its healthiest as you’re under a lot of pressure and anxiety from packing and moving. And lastly, you worry about finding work and how you’ll adjust to a new environment with new people. Especially if it’s someplace you’ve never been before.
Overall, you’re not your best self because you’re going through so many massive life changes and stressors. Just like the Four Stages of Team Building that Psychologist Bruce Tuckman developed in 1964 ‘Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing’, you and your spouse will go through the same dynamics.
The Storming Phase
Moving to a new environment with your spouse or partner comes with a lot of change and difficulty. Whether you’re moving into a new house or moving to an entirely new country, new habits and routines with your spouse need to be formed. You need to re-establish relationship dynamics and communication. You will also probably go through control struggles over household activities while you both get acquainted to your new home. All of this comes, hopefully, with strong and continuous compromising.
The longer you are apart the longer it takes to get settled and comfortable TOGETHER in a new environment. In addition, both people may be trying to adjust to a new country’s customs and cultures – each at their own pace. Simple activities we take for granted, like recycling or calling a taxi, are complicated especially in a country where you don’t speak the language. This puts strain on the relationship and can cause conflicts because you’re both frustrated and can’t accomplish regular tasks on a list of a million To Dos.
The Performing Phase
Give yourself lots of time to acclimatize to a new environment together. This should help take some of the pressure off. If you’ve gone through a long distance relationship reunion once or many times, it doesn’t make it any easier. Each move and each reunion with your spouse is unique, and each experience is not something you can anticipate. Manage expectations. Be conscious of what you’re going through. Notice and anticipate how you both react to situations. And finally, be patient with the process and each other. All of this will help you get through it together.
What are your experiences with long-distance relationship reunions? How were you able to navigate it? Are you awesome at them or not so much? Feel free to comment below!
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